Well, I told my parents...

If you read my last post, you'd know the situation I'm in.

I'm back in Birmingham at the moment, and this morning, I told my parents my plans for dropping out of university.

It didn't go well.

I was having breakfast with my brother when my dad came down. He kept asking how uni was and I was too afraid to tell him the truth so I said stuff like 'Yeah, it's been good'. When he asked me more and more questions, I just had to come out with the truth. He didn't take it so well. I thought he'd be understanding, and be cool with it. Boy was I wrong. Not only did he tell me I chose the wrong decision, but he said he wasn't gonna give me money and that I need to look after myself. My feelings? Surprised. Upset. Confused. But I quickly accepted the fact. My mom came down not long after, and asked my dad and I what we were arguing about. My dad told my mom what happened and walked out of the kitchen. My mom immediately shouted and said some things. It all happened so quickly that I couldn't put up a decent argument and explain what my plans were and stuff. I think it was because of this that my parents lost faith in me. My mom said she wouldn't support me financially either.

I ran into my room, well, my brother's room, and laid down in my bed for a bit. After calming down, I messaged some people about what happened. My cousins have been very supportive of me, offering me to stay with them. They said they would help me get a job and everything. I think that's the best choice for me at this time, moving in with them until I can support myself properly. I want to do this as soon as possible which means I probably have less than a month left living in Manchester. It's going to be sad leaving all the new friends I've made but it's for the best.

To my coursemates who have been messaging me asking if I'm alright and where I am, sorry for ignoring your messages. To be honest, I felt quite ashamed of dropping out of university and that's why I didn't make any contact with you guys. I just wanna take this chance to apologise, and I'll apologise again when I see you guys for the final time, and thanks for putting up with me.

To everyone who has given me encouragement and support, thank you to you too. I always feel better knowing someone out there cares.

Also to my brother, who disagreed with me dropping out but has give me all the support he can regardless, thanks a ton. He understands my mom and offered to get one of his friends' mom to talk to my mom and she only really listens to her friends. I know my brother will always be there for me when I'm down, even if he shows it in the worst way possible. I'm really proud of him and sometimes, I feel like the little brother who relies on him. I've used the last bit of money in my bank to buy him a limited edition 3DS XL.

SO YEAH...

That's my story so far. Thanks for being bothered to read this. Also, this is gonna be the last post in this blog. I may start another one, but who knows?

- stripeytofu

PS: This song describes how I feel at the moment. Knowing that my parents won't support me just makes me wanna prove them wrong! I'd really appreciate it if you could take the time to listen to the lyrics.

November 2012 university update.

Hey y'all, how's it hanging?

Do I talk weird? I think I talk weird. At least I type weird, cos I don't think I talk like that in real life.

ANYWAY! An update on my life for those I haven't kept in touch with. Hope things are good!

Me? Well it's gonna be a long story, so sit tight and get comfortable. Maybe get a cup of hot chocolate, cos I know most of you read my blog at night in bed, and a cuppa hot choc is best when consumed at night. Ready? OK.

My university journey began halfway through September. University of Manchester wasn't actually my first choice. I got in through clearing to do a Chinese and Japanese joint honours degree. Why? Well it was actually a last minute decision. Truth is, I really wanted to take a gap year so I could figure out what I really wanted to do in uni. However, my mom had different ideals. She detested gap years, thinking that it's a waste of a year. Hmm, actually, could it be she had no faith in me to make good use of a gap year? Could be that.

So yeah, my mom wanted me to go straight into uni, so I did. Which meant I went into uni half-heartedly. I didn't have the drive, the motivation, to actually do it. I just though 'I'll just get through these 4 years, and it'll be over in no time. I'll have a degree, get a good job, and that'll be the end of it.'. That may have the been the most costly and time wasting mistake I have ever made. I missed my first ever lecture, and from then on, I had only been going to 5 hours of 14 hours of lectures a week. Terrible, I know. A waste of money, I know. But like I said before, I didn't have the drive or the motivation to go. A week later, I dropped Japanese. The reason is because I didn't read the small print on the website for the course. This is what it says:

 "The first few weeks may be particularly intensive for those who have not encountered Japanese script and we strongly advise all applicants to ensure that they have learned at least the hiragana script prior to Week One of teaching; guidance on materials to help with this can be obtained from language tutors."

Yeah.. since I applied for the course through clearing, I didn't have the chance to learn the hiragana script. For those who don't know what it is, it's like a kinda Japanese alphabet, but not really. And since I didn't have this skill, I couldn't catch up at all, and there were tests every week that would affect the overall grade at the end of the year. Knowing this, I asked to switch from Japanese to Screen Studies, while still keeping Chinese. What is Screen Studies you ask? Well.. From what I gather, it's kinda like Film Studies. A Mickey Mouse course. Useless. Sorry to all those who are doing the same or similar degree.. but that's my honest opinion. I went to two Screen Studies lectures before I stopped going altogether. Do you know what we did? We watched old black and white films.. and discussed the themes. There wasn't even any speaking! It was boring and pointless. I thought cos it'd be interesting for me, because I make YouTube videos and studying film might interest me, but it's the worst degree you could do in UoM. Trust me.

Because I hated doing Screen Studies, and because there was no other course I wanna do with Chinese (I detest Business), I have made the final choice of dropping out of university. Yeah, I said it. Gonna drop out of uni. It's a super huge decision, and I'm scared. Really scared. But my mind also feels clear. It feels like a heavy weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I've made plans for my future - finally- and I'll describe it to you now.

THE PLAN...

OFFICIALLY DROP
I have yet to talk to my academic advisor about officially dropping out of uni. I'm a bit scared of talking to her, but I've sent her an email requesting for a time to meet up.

WRITE A CV
I haven't written a CV since my practice one in high school. This is gonna suck.

TELL PARENTS
This is definitely the scariest part of my plan. I think my dad will be cool with it, but my mom is absolutely gonna destroy me! I'm most likely gonna tell her this weekend, so I'll let you know what happens after...

WRITE UCAS
I have to go through the whole UCAS process again just to reapply. Sheffield is my number one choice, but I can't tell you what degree I wanna do at the moment. You'll know when the time comes.

GET A JOB
Since I'm not gonna be funded by the Government anymore, I need to get a job to pay back off the loans I've taken out. It's gonna be effort, but I'm gonna try my best. This is something I've decided on, and I'm going to take full responsibility for it. No one's opinion or advice has influenced me on this decision.

SO YEAH... that's what's happening so far in my university life. Thanks for reading, much appreciated! I'm gonna try my hardest to blog more often, so look forward to more posts :)



- stripeytofu